August 2023: Time to Die: Soul Sabbatical
Tis' the season to let it all die to soul..
Surrendering to soul has meant releasing parts of who I became.. to make space for who I am becoming
Braving the courage to sludge through the muck, the mess, the ick, the ugly
The shit most may never face..
Shedding skins, peeling layers, clearing the way
August has taken me through death after death after death within myself.. and with resistance to letting go of what I was clinging on to for dear life.. I decided to finally free myself of the rules I created to keep myself safe.
To surrender to death in a way that challenged so many parts of me I'd grown comfortable with..
To let go of business as I knew it.. because deep down, I knew, I was being called into something far greater... even if it was unknown to me
so how deeply can i truly trust the darkness?
how much courage can my body hold as it i traverse the valleys of my innerlandscape?
I fall in prayer time and time again. Humble. Vulnerable. Open. Strong. Fierce & soft, through the tears, moans, groans, yells, and waves of pain and pleasure. My divine wild feminine anchored into deeper depths of trust, flow, and power in the mystery.
And to the darkness I speak with shaking clear conviction:
I trust you
I trust what I don’t know
I trust the stillness
I trust the dissolution
I trust the dismantling
I trust what you take away
I trust what you offer
I trust what is being created through you in who I am no longer, in who I am yet to be
I trust the uncertainty
I trust the timelines beyond my constructs
I trust what you present me with
I trust what you align me with
I’m willing to play with you
I’m willing to be curious with you
I’m willing to surrender to you
I'm willing to sit in the discomfort for however long is needed to be here